This song is about the terrors of living alone with a big garden.

Staring outside at night making myself crazy
(out of my mind, out of my mind)
I thought there was just one before, now they're growing quickly
(too many times, too many times)
oh they've got me trapped inside my house
 inside my house
bet people would start to question my mental health
mental health
~~~
1, he got a fishing rod with a hanging ceramic catch of cod
2, he got a hairy face it seems to be a trait of this tiny race
3, he got a cruel smile you know you gotta get a phone and you dial
but who would believe these crazy things I'm seeing...

I got gnomes and I'll count em
I got gnomes and I'll count em
should I keep it to myself?
I got gnomes and I'll count em
should I keep it to myself?
~~~
I can hear a noise inside coming from the kitchen
(do I go inside?, do I go inside?)
I go to grab the handle but my hand won't stop twitching
(I'm gonna cry, gonna cry)
as I go through the door and take a look take a look
I do I do I do
~~~
1, he's got a spade in hand looking like a brother from father land
2, he's the novelty kind pants are down showing his behind
3, is holding up a sign it says "no poaching beyond this line"
but who would believe these crazy things I'm seeing...

I got gnomes and I'll count em
I got gnomes and I'll count em
should I keep it to myself?
I got gnomes and I'll count em
should I keep it to myself?
~~~
I started running
the small men are coming for me
hats, rods and toes
I just can't believe gnomes are after me
~~~
1,  he dressed to the nines like a man that commits whites collar crime
2, like a minotaur arse half is a man the head half a boar
3, bound together with tape looking like a victim of ceramic rape
but who would believe these crazy things I'm seeing...

I got gnomes and I'll count em
I got gnomes and I'll count em
should I keep it to myself?
I got gnomes and I'll count em
should I keep it to myself?

how'd they get in?
how'd they get in?
how'd they get in?
how'd they get in?
I'm getting out of here!